


It’s you and me, all the way.

by RedChucks



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Genderfluid Character, Genderqueer Vince, gender queer, short and not much plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 18:36:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15563979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedChucks/pseuds/RedChucks
Summary: Post series three Howard and vince come to understand each other better and learn more about each other, including what it means to be The Confuser and Vince’s complicated relationship with gender.Basically it’s short and not much happens. It’s a slice of life for Vince and Howard.





	It’s you and me, all the way.

“Vince! Vince! Vince, Little Man, are you-“ Howard stopped short in the bathroom doorway, still and thoughtful, the panic put on pause in the back of his mind as Vince turned toward him, eyeliner pencil in hand, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Sorry, um...” Howard stammered. “Sorry, um... what... what are we today?”

  
Vince blinked, perfectly mascara’d eyelashes brushing porcelain skin, lips that reminded Howard of pearls opening in confusion for a moment before the question clicked in to place and made sense.

  
“Oh. It’s she today. Thanks, Howard.” She grinned, looking far too pretty with her hair straightened to resemble black silk and a cherry red, Isadora Duncan, scarf slung around her slender neck. “Is something wrong? You’re all tense, like you’re about to snap right in two. You’re like a Twix in tweed. What’s going on?”

  
Howard took a step forward, trying to think of the best way to phrase things, to explain that disaster was definitely imminent without frightening Vince so badly her hair started to frizz. Since the incident on the roof top, since that first time he’d actually admitted that he’d bought the ladder, that he wasn’t straight, wasn’t even close, things had slowly changed. He and Vince had spent a year rebuilding their friendship from the ground up, relearning one another, learning all of the new facets that they hadn’t bothered to notice during that bitter, post-Milky Joe year. Howard had learnt so much over the last twelve months, he finally felt like a true learned man - an expert - and among the greatest things he had learnt was the vocabulary he needed to properly talk to, respect, understand, and love his best friend. He was an expert in Vince now, in more ways than one, but had also learnt to respect Vince’s expertise as well. Vince could change her appearance to suit her gender at any given moment, they could talk to any animal, he could style his way out of almost any situation, she could fight low and dirty when style and charm failed, and they were something of an expert on calming Howard down when panic loomed large, all of which they’d need if they were to survive this latest Armageddon.

  
“Take a deep breath, yeah?” Vince said with that soft tone that usually came out when she was flirting or trying to build up Howard’s confidence. “Let that buffalo chest expand and breathe in the sweet smell of calm and strawberry scented hair mousse. Whatever it is, we can sort it, Howard. It’s you an’ me all the way, remember?”

  
Howard felt his heart flutter at that. It had become a catch phrase of sorts, a repeated endearment that Howard now found irresistibly romantic and which Vince seemed to have used to bridge the space between friendship and romantic love.  
At first, of course, it had been painful. Vince had just explained the feelings of dysphoria, anxiety, and insecurity that too often came with being The Confuser, a painful conversation for them both. Vince had talked of being confused and wishing there were better ways to express that some days they were a woman, others a man, mostly something shifting and uncertain in between. Vince had been sitting in the barber’s chair in the shop, staring out at the rain, and Howard had put his hand on their shoulder, trying desperately to be supportive, and had said those words: “Hey, I’m here for you. It’s you and me, Vince. All the way.”

  
He hadn’t realised the inference of his words straight away but the déjà had hit Vince hard and fast and Howard had not been prepared for the flood of glittery tears or Vince’s strangled words: “Don’t touch me!”

  
It had been a mighty blow, a breeze block of pain to the chest, a humbling realisation that his past words and actions had hurt his friend immeasurably. It had taken so many words after that, and so many hours - almost too many for comfort - but despite the twin pains of candid speaking and prolonged eye contact they had emerged victorious and closer than ever. And Howard knew he would gladly go through it all again, for Vince, and for the kisses that had followed those painful conversations, and the love that had flowed freely there after.

  
He looked up at the beautiful human being before him, looking so radiant and open in the face of his fear, and smiled. No matter what perils they would surely face, he knew that with Vince by his side he couldn’t be properly fearful.

  
“What’s the matter, Howard?” Vince asked again, her voice a gentle sing-song. “Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it, yeah. It’s not like it’s the end of the world or nothing.”

  
“But it is,” Howard urged, even though his brain had calmed down significantly thanks to Vince’s presence. “It is the end of the world! The end of our lives as we know it! It’s a disaster! It’s, well... actually it’s...” he felt a blush rising up along his neck and in to his cheeks but Vince only smiled appreciatively and he stammered on. “Well... actually... in actual fact, which is to say if one were to give the actual facts of the situation in a factual manner... there’s a wasp in the shop, Vince. He kept buzzing round my head and swooping in a threatening manner and... you couldn’t deal with it for me could you, Vince?”

  
Vince’s smile - warm, loving, indulgent, slightly cheeky - was all the answer Howard needed. It was the two of them against the world, after all, and not even a wasp of mythological powers and proportions could stop them when they worked together, no sir. Or ma’am, as the case may be.


End file.
